Begin Again

Make a mistake

And begin again

 Take a wrong turn

And begin again

Always… to pick myself up

And begin again.

 

I can’t think of how many times

I’ve had to begin again…

 

I begin again…

Even when I’d rather give up…

I begin again

Even whilst crying myself to a mess of self-pity…

I begin again

Even when I want to stop trying and give up the fight…

I begin again

Even when I want to choose death

‘cause I don’t know how to breathe through the pain of living…

 

In me… always the incessant voice –

Begin Again….

The Universe will catch you….

Your soul will show you the path…

Begin Again.

 

All I need to do to begin again

Is to take the first step…

Step by step…

All I need is the desire to

Begin Again.

 

And so today

I begin again.

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Seeds

I sowed seeds of Bitterness
Every time I suffered.
I watered it
I nourished it –
With my tears
With my anger
With my desire for revenge.

These seeds
Grew into thorny weeds.
Hungry –
For all the more suffering
The stronger it grew
Till my heart
Became parched and dry,
Cracked and hard…
The moisture of Compassion
Sucked dry.

I had to find a way
To kill these weeds –
For this was not how
I wanted my heart to be –
Cold and hard
Harsh and dry.

I soaked the weeds
With Forgiveness…
Over and over again.
I soaked the weeds
With Blessings…
Over and over again.

The weeds withered.
I pulled them out
I tilled the soil –
Now moistened with kindness
Softened with Compassion.

Now when I suffer
I remember to remain soft.
I Forgive
I Bless
I think with Compassion.
I watch for weeds of Bitterness –
I pull them out
As quick as I can.
I sow seeds of
Forgiveness and Compassion
instead.

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Choices

Choose yourself.

Choose yourself and do not rely on others to choose you.

Choose yourself,

And in doing so, you place value on yourself.

You do not have to wait on others

To confer value upon you.

 

Waiting on others to choose you,

To say you are valuable to them,

Disempowers you.

It makes you weak, anxious,

Prone to jealousy and insecurity.

 

In choosing yourself,

You give yourself

Power to bring about your own healing.

It gives you strength

To cut the ties that bind you

To feelings of worthlessness,

And to things that diminish you.

 

If you love someone or something –

Choose it,

Choose them

Whole-heartedly!

This choosing has to be ‘free’ –

Without guilt,

Without fear,

Without any tendril of coercion or manipulation.

Otherwise, it is not a choice,

But co-dependence.

 

To choose wisely

Is to say ‘Yes’ with an open heart,

And to embrace your choice

Whole-heartedly.

The Path to Beauty

It has been a long and arduous journey…
A journey of walking through darkness
Walking through the narrow thorny way..
I have despaired at times – 
Given up.
Sat on the floor – lost!
Sobbing hard
Blinded by my pain, blinded by my tears
But the light called me on.
I don’t know how,
But I got up
again and again – 
I walked with the pebble of Sorrow in my shoe.
I walked and walked…
I carried Grief
like a heavy pack on my back.
I didn’t know the road…
But I put one foot in front of the other.
I found a resting place or two
along the way…
A Japanese Bathhouse…
The healing hands of a masseuse…
Breaking down the hardening of my shell…
I didn’t want to get hard
I wanted my heart to stay soft.
Though I wept more not less
I chose to keep my heart of flesh.
I got to know my darkness.
And after awhile
I was not afraid of the dark.
I learnt to see in the dark.
I saw my shadows.
I learnt that I had to carry
my darkness with my light.
The two are one
Integrated, I am whole.
I am ready now
to walk again.
To begin my own ‘Camino’…
To take the pebble out from my shoe..
To swap my heavy pack for a lighter day pack..
I trust completely in the Path…
It will lead me –
And I will follow.
Because of the darkness
I have become the light.
I hold both together – in me.
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