I have fallen down a rabbit hole

of doubt and despondency,

sorrow and self-pity,

and exhaustion…

It happened slowly

and caught me unaware.

At first, I tripped over recent sorrows

of circumstances beyond my control…

I stumbled over

when I forgot my own strength

to bear the weight of my aloneness…

I fell,

as I began digging up the past,

to examine where I had buried lost opportunities…

I opened old wounds

and reminisced over old loves…

counted up broken promises,

dashed hopes and unfulfilled expectations…

I unglued the pieces of my broken heart

inspecting it for evidence of harm done to me.

Little by little

I fell in deeper…

feeling unloved and unwanted…

struggling to find my relevance

in this present time.

I can now see a light above me

from the hole I am in

pointing the way out.

But I will rest awhile in this darkness…

I know this place

I have been here before.

I will familiarise myself with the dark

so that when I open my eyes

I will see through the darkness.

I will gather my energy to heal.

I will begin my climb out of this rabbit hole.

I will say goodbye and bid a blessing to

old wounds, old loves…

I will count the lessons learned and blessings received

instead of broken promises and lost dreams…

I will re-glue the broken pieces of my heart

with Love,

with Compassion,

with Acceptance…

I will practice Forgiveness…

Remembering I am loved, and I am enough.

Believing that all is well and will be well…

And that this too shall pass.

I will ask for the Grace to change what I need to change.

I will grab the rope of Hope to aid me.

I will surface again out of this rabbit hole…

a changed me…

better off for the time I spent in the darkness,

for the lessons learned and the blessings received

from being in the rabbit hole.