I have fallen down a rabbit hole
of doubt and despondency,
sorrow and self-pity,
It happened slowly
and caught me unaware.
At first, I tripped over recent sorrows
of circumstances beyond my control…
I stumbled over
when I forgot my own strength
to bear the weight of my aloneness…
as I began digging up the past,
to examine where I had buried lost opportunities…
I opened old wounds
and reminisced over old loves…
counted up broken promises,
dashed hopes and unfulfilled expectations…
I unglued the pieces of my broken heart
inspecting it for evidence of harm done to me.
Little by little
I fell in deeper…
feeling unloved and unwanted…
struggling to find my relevance
in this present time.
I can now see a light above me
from the hole I am in
pointing the way out.
But I will rest awhile in this darkness…
I know this place
I have been here before.
I will familiarise myself with the dark
so that when I open my eyes
I will see through the darkness.
I will gather my energy to heal.
I will begin my climb out of this rabbit hole.
I will say goodbye and bid a blessing to
old wounds, old loves…
I will count the lessons learned and blessings received
instead of broken promises and lost dreams…
I will re-glue the broken pieces of my heart
I will practice Forgiveness…
Remembering I am loved, and I am enough.
Believing that all is well and will be well…
And that this too shall pass.
I will ask for the Grace to change what I need to change.
I will grab the rope of Hope to aid me.
I will surface again out of this rabbit hole…
a changed me…
better off for the time I spent in the darkness,
for the lessons learned and the blessings received
from being in the rabbit hole.