Feast

For too long

I have settled

for the crumbs of love

to fall from the table…

where I would hungrily

scoop them up into my mouth.

I was a beggar for Love.

I searched always,

looking for signs…

in small corners,

in darkened alleys…

Looking for signs

pointing to a feast.

When I got there

there was no place for me

at the table…

So I sat at the feet

of those who feasted

waiting for

crumbs to fall.

I will no longer

beg for Love…

I will no longer

taste crumbs…

I want a feast.

I am deserving of a feast!

I want a lavish banquet,

Abundant with

Generosity,

Kindness,

Compassion,

Passion,

Tenderness,

Thoughtfulness…

I want to drink deeply

from the sweetness of Life,

and the rich wine of Love

with all its complexity and depth.

I want to sit

with my beloved

at the head of the table.

I will no longer be

a beggar for Love.

I will wait

for my time

of Feast.

Choices

Choose yourself.

Choose yourself and do not rely on others to choose you.

Choose yourself,

And in doing so, you place value on yourself.

You do not have to wait on others

To confer value upon you.

 

Waiting on others to choose you,

To say you are valuable to them,

Disempowers you.

It makes you weak, anxious,

Prone to jealousy and insecurity.

 

In choosing yourself,

You give yourself

Power to bring about your own healing.

It gives you strength

To cut the ties that bind you

To feelings of worthlessness,

And to things that diminish you.

 

If you love someone or something –

Choose it,

Choose them

Whole-heartedly!

This choosing has to be ‘free’ –

Without guilt,

Without fear,

Without any tendril of coercion or manipulation.

Otherwise, it is not a choice,

But co-dependence.

 

To choose wisely

Is to say ‘Yes’ with an open heart,

And to embrace your choice

Whole-heartedly.

The Path to Beauty

It has been a long and arduous journey…
A journey of walking through darkness
Walking through the narrow thorny way..
I have despaired at times – 
Given up.
Sat on the floor – lost!
Sobbing hard
Blinded by my pain, blinded by my tears
But the light called me on.
I don’t know how,
But I got up
again and again – 
I walked with the pebble of Sorrow in my shoe.
I walked and walked…
I carried Grief
like a heavy pack on my back.
I didn’t know the road…
But I put one foot in front of the other.
I found a resting place or two
along the way…
A Japanese Bathhouse…
The healing hands of a masseuse…
Breaking down the hardening of my shell…
I didn’t want to get hard
I wanted my heart to stay soft.
Though I wept more not less
I chose to keep my heart of flesh.
I got to know my darkness.
And after awhile
I was not afraid of the dark.
I learnt to see in the dark.
I saw my shadows.
I learnt that I had to carry
my darkness with my light.
The two are one
Integrated, I am whole.
I am ready now
to walk again.
To begin my own ‘Camino’…
To take the pebble out from my shoe..
To swap my heavy pack for a lighter day pack..
I trust completely in the Path…
It will lead me –
And I will follow.
Because of the darkness
I have become the light.
I hold both together – in me.
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